The wait

This is one of those days when the wait seems interminably long, impossible to stand any longer. How much does God really think that I can take? I want to scream and cry, I do cry, I am crying. Why God? How is this good? Are You really in control? Will this child and the hundreds others like him ever come home? Obviously he's going to miss another b'day with us. It seems like he'll miss the family vacation too. How is this good? Are we so awful that we don't deserve to have him home? Are we awful people unable to parent this child? It's just too hard. It doesn't make sense. Then I think about his birth mother. Does she cry out to God for the choice she had to make? Does she wonder why was she born into poverty and why her child was born into the same poverty? She had to make the choice to give her child up. She loves him so much that she's giving him over to us, to raise as our own. Does she ask God why? At the same time we are praying "Lord, bring him home soon" is she praying "Lord, just a little longer?" Does she wonder if she's an awful person, unable to parent her child, without the resources available to her to do that task? She asked us to raise this child to be a man that people look up to. Do we have the resources to do that? Are we capable? One thing comes to mind; when I (we) are weak, God is strong. Please Lord, give us strength. Please Lord, bring J home soon and give his birth mother peace.
2 Cor. 4:17-18 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen in temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."