Tuesday, October 30, 2007
My classes went great. They are small classes, only 12 students in each. Great teacher (the classroom teacher, not me) and great kids. It makes this fun. So that was a good start to the day. I went and had my blood test to see if the liver function and thyroid have returned to normal and then picked up a few things for the Hallelujah Harvest party. We did get quite a few things set up last night too, so that helps. T got his hay bales set up with the help of my dad and a friend. He will cover it so it's dark in there. Then we give the kids one of those glowing bracelets to "see" their way through the maze.
T talked to his aunt and uncle and they are coming Thursday, not Tuesday. That eases things up for tonight. B and B, it's not that we don't want to see you it's just that Thursday works a lot better for us than Tuesday. Now I just have to get R to her eye doc appointment and get a few things at the store. I think the few things will include one of those roasted chickens. Oh, yes. So that takes care of dinner. A will still go to her friend's house as they are both in the play together and they can get her to practice.
Last night I was stressed about the party and how we were going to get everything done. Today feels a lot better. I'm actually getting excited about the party. Last night it just felt like a chore. What a difference a day makes.
For some reason Sanome is laying on my hands as I'm trying to type. I've typed some interesting things that way. I think she missed me last week. Okay, cat has got to go. That's better.
We still have not heard any news about the adoption paperwork. We did hear from the O directors and they said they had a lot of rain and some wind from the tropical storm and the roads are very muddy but it's not too bad where they are. Their administrative assistant wasn't able to get to work because of the roads but everyone is fine. I'm sure the storm is why we weren't able to talk to J on Sunday. I guess we'll try again this week.
Later Thursday edit; R's eye doc was running 45 minutes late. Sigh...I ran to return something while she was at the appointment. The traffic on that side of town at that time of day is awful. I nearly got hit twice and nearly hit someone else. Then we ran to the store and decided to "divide and conquer" our list. Ha! Divide and conquer? It was more like the store kicked our butts. There were people everywhere and nothing could be found. I had about 3 things in my cart when R called and said, "I've got my stuff. Where are you?" It turns out she had the wrong size tights for herself and had to go back and get some different ones. They didn't have her size and someone even went and looked in the back for her. Nope. The ones she got are like 2 sizes too big and I hope they stay on her. We did get one of those chickens and she ate some on the way home because we weren't even home yet and she was already late for play practice. Being the rednecks that we are she pitched the chicken leg out the window. Don't worry, we are responsible "pitchers" and only throw biodegradable things and we actually look to make sure no one is behind us.
She went to play practice and T and I ate together and then went and picked up A and her friend and they helped cover up the hay bale maze. This is the best maze yet. The girls tried it out after they got it covered and loved it. I need to charge the camera batteries and clear the memory stick because tomorrow promises to be interesting. I know what I'm dressing up as and I know what a couple others are dressing up as. Our rule for dressing up for the Hallelujah Harvest Party are that it can't be scary or evil or negative and it can't cover up the face, like a mask. As long as I stay away from the store and the "other" side of town where all the bad traffic is, I'm geared up and ready for the party. Party hearty, y'all!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
All the critters were still alive when we got home. The goat seems a little depressed but all the others are happy campers and can't figure out why we don't give them treats everytime we look at them like those other people did. The horse had a little trouble with one foot and our capable caretakers wrapped it up for her. She seems better. Maybe R can check it out better tomorrow between school and play practice.
We are so frustrated with the adoption process. I know God is in control and has a plan and all that but it hurts to hope at this point. We've been in MOI for 5 months now. This is insane. It's cruel and inhuman punishment and I don't know why we're being punished. The worst part is that we're one file of many. It doesn't make me feel better knowing that we're not the only ones, it makes me feel awful for all of us who are waiting. I wonder what's going through the mind of our son, if he wonders if he's done something bad that we won't come and get him. He asks us every time we talk when we're coming to get him. We didn't get to talk to him today. I'm not sure why. I hope he doesn't blame us. I don't understand how this is good. I don't understand the process. I'm not sure I ever will in this life. I wish that the "powers that be" in Haiti understood how bad this hurts.
I better run in a different vein for a while. I made Haitian Soup JouMou today. A asked for it. It does have a pumpkin base but is really more like a vegetable soup. We're eating it today and tomorrow since I won't have time to make anything tomorrow. If there's any left after that I'll freeze it for when J gets here so he'll have something he's familiar with. I'm going to get the abstinence supplies out this evening too so I'm ready for Tuesday. That way we can work on Harvest party stuff Monday night and hopefully visit with T's family or watch a dress rehearsal of R's play on Tuesday evening. Run, run, run. Like I said, we're baaaaack.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I’ve often dreamed of going to pick up J or bringing him home in the last few weeks. One night I dreamt that we went down there and ended up with a different kid. We weren’t upset about it or anything, just had a different child. Too weird. Last night I dreamed that J was hurt. It was not very encouraging.
I don’t really have time to process all the stuff going on in my head right now and we have to go to internet cafes to get any connection. Just wanted to let you know we are still out here and we don’t know anything new.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Friday morning edit; The Jeep did start and they got home, finally. A took and shower in their bathroom and R took one in ours. At 10:10 p.m. A announces that she has an "egg drop" project due this morning. Ah! They make something to try to keep an egg from breaking when it's dropped from the school roof. Definitely something for T to help with. After some tears on A's part they got an idea together and made a cage of sorts. Then I asked if A also had an article due. Yes, she did. Yes, I think we all need a break. I went to bed but got up when the cat started "talking" to us. It literally sounded like he was trying to form words. Weird. Then he started heaving and A and T started gagging too. Wimps. I had to get up and clean up the mess. T cleaned up the second wave about 10 minutes later. Yeah, it was a fun night. We didn't get that much rain but thankfully the storms went around us. T said at one point there were tornado warnings in the counties around us but nothing here. Thank God for that.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and we start to do the thing, then comes something equivalent to the forty years in the wilderness, as if God had ignored the whole thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged God comes back and revives the call, and we get the quaver in and say-'Oh, who am I?' We have to learn the first great stride of God-'I AM THAT I AM hath sent thee.' We have to learn that our individual effort for God is an impertinence; our indiviuality is to be rendered incandescent by a personal relationship to God (see Matthew iii. 17). We fix on the individual aspect of things; we have the vision-'This is what God wants me to do;' but we have not got into God's stride. If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a big personal enlargement ahead." How cool is all that?
We do believe that we were supposed to walk down this adoption road. We do feel like God is leading the way and that He is in control. However, I definitely feel like I've been driven to "blank discouragement" and sent to the desert (I hope it's not for forty years!). Sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of parenting an adopted child. He will come with his own set of baggage. Even though there is no abuse in his history he has been given up by one momma. That has to have it's own set of hurts. I hope I remember how I feel and how I want to lash out when I'm so frustrated with this process and think about how J feels when he lashes out in his frustration. Maybe we have to go through this on order to parent him. That's scary! We as humans definitely think about the individual aspect of things. We are not the only family waiting to bring their child home from Haiti. There are others who have waited longer and are still waiting. Some bring their children home much sooner. There are others who are walking this road and we are not alone. I'm ready for God to "revive the call" and to get "into God's stride". Only He can bring this about. I love the idea that "If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a big personal enlargement ahead." I hope it looks just like J. If anyone wants to know where I've been for the last 2 years, I've been tending sheep in the wilderness.
We did finally get to talk to J! I love it and hate it at the same time. He asked again when we were coming to get him. Breaks my heart in two. And I don't even know what's going on with our file. Pray for us. I was telling him about one of the plays that R is rehearsing for. I knew he was familiar with it but he said he didn't know it at first. I explained a little bit about it and he said, "Oh yeah. I know it." I told him what part she was playing and sang a bit of the song and he said, "Do dat again." I asked why and he said, "I am not hearing you." I wonder how many times I will hear those exact words from this child? I started singing again and I heard him tell his buddy to listen. Too funny.
T got the bookcase headboard finished for J's room and I stained it. If I have time tomorrow after work I'll poly it. I can't wait to see it set up in his room. I can't wait to see J in it. Please Lord, let it be soon.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The homecoming parade and game was last night. We ended up leaving early as we were ccccold. Someone gave us a down comforter for our bed and boy are we liking that. We should have brought that with us to the game. I don't have any pics of the girls from yesterday. They just wore school colors. A had talked about using grease paint on her face but she didn't do that. At least you saw the Cinderella and hippie outfits.
I've had a request to do "Rindercella and the Two Sad Bisters". I don't know how that would look printed out, but I'll try. I think it's called spoonerism when you switch the first letters around and I originally got this from a friend, like 20 years ago. I'm not even sure that this is correct but here goes; Rindercella bent to the wall and pranced with the dandsome hince. When the strock cluck twelve, Rindercella stan down the reps and slopped her dripper (that line is a personal favorite). The prandsome Hince found it and brought it Rindercella's house and tried in on the first sad bister and it fidn't dit. Then he tried on the second sad bister and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella and it fid dit.
We are home finally, obviously, and dog tired but I wanted to "catch you up" a bit. We're still here, still no adoption news, and we're just incredibly busy right now.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
No pics today. They didn't dress up. It was a beautiful day. I usually work on Thur so it was kind of weird to be home. I washed the van, vacuumed it, armor alled it and used leather care on the seats. It may be 8 years old and have almost 200K miles on it but it is looking good. I drove real slow up the driveway after getting A but it's so dry that there was still dust on it when we got back. Sigh...I nearly hyperventilated and passed out trying to blow the dust off the back. Guess what else. I have fibromyalgia and I am painfully aware of that fact at the moment. Maybe I'll treat myself to a whole muscle relaxer tonight. :)
Due to my height, or lack thereof, I keep a stool in my kitchen at the end of my "bay" counter. Most people find it by tripping over it. A lot of times I sit on it and Dexter jumps into my lap for a few minutes. Today I stepped up on it and sat/leaned on the counter instead and Dexty saw me and decided to jump into my lap. The problem was my lap was not there. He looked rather surprised when he slid down my legs. I love the nonchalantness that cats have. He acted like he meant to do that as he walked away. Of course I had to pick up my Dexty and snuggle him.
I made the first chili of the season and it is good, even if I do say so myself. Isn't it funny how we cook differently in the summer verses the winter? When A saw the big pot she asked when we were going to have pumpkin soup again. I have a good recipe for Haitian Pumpkin soup or "soup joumou". It's not pureed pumpkin like cream of tomato but a hearty vegetable soup with pumpkin base. Good stuff. My mom can't get past the pumpkin part and I'm not sure if she's ever tried it but everyone else thinks it's good. Well, the laundry is calling once again. I better go.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Yesterday and today were interesting at work. The "boss" (she's really one of my best friends-I just happen to work in their store) went to get mums. When she got back her step dad was parking the trailer for her when the brakes went out on the vehicle. Well, it began a slow descent towards the river that's behind the store. B (who also works there) had the presence of mind to steer towards the smaller creek that runs into the river. Once the vehicle went over the edge, the embankment on the other side stopped it. Yes, the trailer was still attached. They got the trailer off and took pics and tried to figure out what to do. It was decided that we didn't have the horse power to pull it out and a wrecker was called. About 45 minutes after it happened, the local police showed up. Those guys are quick, aren't they? Not one, not two, but three police cruisers show up. Think Mayberry. When the wrecker pulled it out, the left front was banged up a bit. By that time, the news was all over town. One of the dealers came in and I was going to tell her about it she said she'd already seen pics that a neighbor took! Again, think Mayberry. No one was hurt and the vehicle will be repaired.
Today, another guy that works with us wrecked the front of his vehicle trying to avoid a deer. He opted for the guardrail instead. We're all a little "skeered" now. Then the doorknob fell off the bathroom door today with a customer inside. B came through and said, "Did the doorknob fall off the bathroom door? I see someone moving inside there." I had not been aware of it and we went and looked and sure enough, the doorknob was missing and you could see fingers moving in there. I asked if someone was stuck inside and he said, "Uh, yes ma'am. I can't seem to get this open." B got the door open for him and the guy's wife was standing over to the side looking at something and she smiles and says, "Oh, just leave him in there a little longer. I've got some more shopping to do." Yeah, one more time, think Mayberry.
I have a couple of different devotional books that I like to read from. One is "God Things Come In Small Packages". They take scriptures and put them together in a "note" type format, then there is a devotional and then some "closing" thoughts on the subject. Today's "note from God" was; "I'm near when you call upon Me. I hear your cry and save you. I've redeemed you and called you by name. You are Mine! When you feel like you're drowning in life's circumstances, I won't let you be overwhelmed. And I won't let the fires of life burn you. Your flesh and your heart might fail, but I am the strength of your heart and your portion forever. Comforting you, Your Living God" taken from Psalm 145:18-19; Isaiah43:1; Psalm 73:26. The "closing thoughts" are; "God is near those crushed in spirit. He sees every tear, feels every pain. When no one else can possibly understand the condition of your soul, God knows. If all you can do is breathe, He is as close as that breath. Collapse in His ourstretched arms." I love the vision of collapsing in His outstretched arms. That's where I was last Friday. All I could do was breathe. I'm at a better place now. No, we haven't gotten any news but God has come quietly and given me a hope, an encouragement. And I am thankful. Do I like what's happening? No way. Do I trust Him? Yes.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Well, that's the pics for today. They haven't decided yet if they're dressing up tomorrow or not. They're a little bored with cowboy/Indian or camo day. We live in a rural area. You probably won't be able to see any kids at the high school tomorrow because they'll all be in camouflage.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Friday was so hard. Something did make me laugh that afternoon though. It was R's cat, Sanome. She loves to root in the clean, warm laundry and take a nap.
Oh, such a big yawn. Sleepy kitty.
Friday I washed our sheets. Before we got them back on the bed Sano had found them. They were moving a little and purring. I took a peek and found her peeking back at me.
She thought she was completely covered. Gotta love it.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Are you still here? Then bless you and please don't bash me for my feelings. Encouragement is ok. I’m really confused about how I feel right now. We got word that our file, which has been waiting for a signature for 4 MONTHS in MOI has now gotten moved BACKWARD into Parquet. How can this be? It makes no sense. Apparently most of the files from our O that were in MOI got sent back. A couple made it through, ones that were in the same amount of time as ours. Did I already say this makes no sense? We were really thinking the end might be near. That’s what I get for hoping. Hoping hurts too much right now. I know I’m supposed to praise God anyway but if I praise Him in an effort to get our son home, then I’m still not really doing what He wants, am I? I’m just not there yet. It’s actually been a few minutes since I’ve shed tears over this. That’s like a record today. I know in my head that God is in control, that He has our best in mind, and that He loves J more than I ever could but my heart is NOT feeling it. Oops, here comes the tears again. I debated about posting this but I want this to be an honest place where I can post what I feel about this crazy process. This blog is therapeutic for me, you just end up reading it. How am I going to talk to J if we can get a hold of him on Sunday? I just keep falling apart. I'm angry. My head says trust in God but my heart is NOT GETTING IT. When I was trying to give birth to A, she was stuck on my pelvis and they pulled her with a forceps. Even with an epidural it felt like they were ripping me in two. It feels like some part of me has been ripped in two again. When we first started the adoption process and J's birth mother said no at first, it felt like he had died to us or that I had miscarried. It feels like he has died to us again. How can they mess with someone's life like that? How is this good? Doesn't anyone care about the adoption process in Haiti? How can they keep screwing with people's lives? Sorry, I know this isn't real refined but it's taken me awhile to even get here. Psalm 43 has been my friend today. "Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; (I like that part) rescue me from the deceitful and wicked men. You are God my stronghold. Why have You rejected me? (Oh yeah, I definitely want to know that one) Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? Send forth Your light and Your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise You with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."
Our lawyer is supposed to be meeting with Parquet today. MOI says the signatures from Parquet are the old guys and they need to be the new guys, the one who isn't signing for people with bio children. We have two, but I'm infertile now. Have been for over 14 years. To be pregnant would have been life threatening for me. I wonder if that counts. Okay, I'm done blasting for now. I need to do more processing. I don't know how I'm going to lead music in church this Sunday. Pray for me. I've asked God if I should and all that came to mind was "to obey is better than sacrifice" but I'm not sure how that fits in.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
This is the attic before we started. There had been a TV antenna in there so we started by putting up an antenna tower and moving that out of there. Then we scraped the insulation off the top and started a subfloor. All of the boards were brought up through our attic trap door and carried across and over to the new room. What a job! I don't know how many times T hit his head on the same board crossing from one part to the other. The first few times I felt bad for him but after the 10th or 12th time you'd think he would duck. Oh no, he hit it nearly every time. Brings whole new meaning to the term "hard head".
Finally, the painting is done, Spiderman border is up and staining and poly is going on trim boards. I was working on this while we were practicing for a play and a I'd take the little CD player up there and sang the songs as loud as I wanted. Pretty good acoustics in there with no carpet or furniture.
As you can see, there is plenty of stuff in the room. My parents gave us the computer desk when they got new office furniture. T plans to put up a computer for J and load it with ESL software and educational games, etc. When we visited J the first time he was really in to R's laptop. He mostly wanted to run the mouse all over though. T is not putting an expensive computer in there, just one that will play the educational games.
Same time as the other pic, but from the top.
Ah, the handrail. By far, the hardest part of the stairs. T cut a long board into thin strips, about 1/4" wide. He measured and made a form using two sheets of plywood, little pieces of boards srewed into just the right place and shims. Then he smothered the strips of wood with glue and put them into this frame. I'm sorry to say that the first rail was too thick when we tried to install it and it broke. T never said a word. He just took the piece in his hands outside and returned to fight the other piece down and took it out. Then he packed up his tools and watched TV. We did get another built, T planed it down at a friend's house and we held our breath. This time when we bent the circle into a helix, it didn't break. Glory be! Here is a pic of R holding the strips down while T pounds in the shims and attaches the clamps.
We just got the last of the trim around the opening up this weekend. I'm still putting the last coats of poly on it today. Here's a pic of the finished product from the top.
We ended up with a small landing area at the top of the steps. Then you step down a little bit into J's room. We plan to build bookshelves around the top that can be accessed while on the stairs. You can kind of see that in the other pic. I wonder how long before J will climb up the small edges of the stairs. I hope we find out soon. Now you know some of the things we did while waiting. We're done now. Please Lord, let him come home.