Aaagggghhhhhh/cont.

Well, the official word on the fat finger is, he thinks it needs to be drained but he's not sure where to cut. Could be that it just needs more time and hot soaks. So, he's sending me to a surgeon for a second opinion. It was just a hang nail! Is a surgeon really necessary? I just want the use of my finger back. I had an offer from someone to fix it for free with his pocket knife. I may have to take him up on his offer. ~ It's Friday and no adoption news yet today. SCREAM! This is one of those days where it seems like God doesn't care anymore. Before you get all theological on me, I know that He's there and that He really does care. I said it "seems" like He doesn't, or that He's forgotten about us somehow. It's been 6 months of waiting for a signature just for a passport. There is no one to complain to. There is no one holding these people accountable. They just don't care. They have a powerful job and they like it. They like the power of being able to say, yes I'll sign or no I won't. It's sickening. I'm sick of the journey. ~ In other news, it's sunny and cool but not cold here today. There is a Christmas parade tomorrow and I had my choice of two floats to ride on; work or church. R and I will be on the work one and T and A will be on the church one. Lillybet has been invited to be on the work one. I thought it might stress her but it's R's call, not mine. I remember holding a goat on a parade float when I was a kid. I fed it a bottle and it peed on me. With that in mind, R can hold the goat. ~ Not much else going on.
Amy
Later...The "not knowing" is driving me crazy. I don't know how much more I can take. People lovingly try to tell me not to dwell on it. How can I not dwell on it? It's like T said, if your child was in the hospital for a month and they told you to go home and think about something else, could you do that? We are J's parents. How can we not think about him when he is not with us? Yes, we do carry on with our lives. We do have two other children in the home and have really enjoyed our time with them. We've played a lot of games and watched movies, sharing with them movies that we enjoyed when we were their age. Our time with them is great. But how can we not think about J? He exists. He is real. We've met him. He is a part of our lives. I wish there was a way for the Haitian officials to understand our love for our son and how it breaks our hearts to have to wait so long. It's a seemingly needless wait. None of it makes sense to me. God's plan is not making sense to me. But I have no choice but to lay it at His feet. So I do.