I was uploading these pics and thinking how pretty they are and what a nice time we had with friends Sunday evening and then I called the lawyer to see if we had gotten the paper we've been waiting on for 4 weeks. We haven't. I'm so discouraged with this adoption process. So frustrated. So angry with God for not stepping in. It makes no sense. Sometimes it feels like a hoax. Or like some cruel joke has been played on us. I'm sorry. I have no theological or philosophical response. I have nothing.
Here are the pics I uploaded. Hope you can enjoy them.
Horses and a donkey at our friend's house.
The bonfire.
Sorry this is such a heavy post. I just feel dark, devoid of joy or hope. Sorry.
10:17-Ok, I'm pretty much over my pity party for now. Pretty much. But remember, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you."
1 comment:
Oh Amy, I'm so sorry. I was many times in that dark place. It is incomprehensible--the wait. I was often angry with God and then angry with myself for being angry with him. If nothing else, my journey strengthened me for the challenges ahead. My faith was refined in part and I could see good in it though I'd never want to relive those three years. You've waited longer and I wish I could reach out and hug you. It may not make you feel better but I hope you know you are not alone in battling dark emotions.
Many blessings & prayers for you,
K
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