No news and Christmas is coming

No adoption news. It would drive me nuts if I let it. I was crying out to God on Monday morning and I said, "It's too much. I can't bear this and You're asking too much, God." And immediately the thought popped into my head that J is still alive. Our daughters are still alive. T is alive. We're relatively healthy. We have a house to live in, cars to drive and jobs to go to. My day got much better after that train of thought. There again is that resounding refrain, praise God anyway.

~ A was in rare form last night. She was emptying the dishwasher and singing with gusto. She was singing a song from Shrek. R rolled her eyes and A said, "I can't help it if I'm in a joyful mood and you're just not." Then she moved into songs from Annie. Then we folded a load of laundry and we were both singing songs from Beauty and the Beast. Then she started belting out "Don Juan". Then R joined us and we sang songs from Big River. Then I started singing "Anything Goes" and they both stopped and looked at me. They don't know that one. I love times like that. I sure hope J can sing.

~ We watched "White Christmas" last night. Well, T and I did. R and A were playing video games. Anything that helps put us in the Christmas mood is good. I can't believe we're facing another Christmas without J here. It blows my mind. People have bought him gifts. I guess they'll just have to wait for him. Like everything else. I thought about his clothes the other day. I had a closet full of summer clothes for him when we thought he'd come home last summer. Then I put those away and now there's a closet full of winter clothes for him. Now I wonder if he'll even need those. It's heartbreaking.

~ In spite of it all, we are decorated for Christmas. R's boyfriend came over on Sunday and the kids all decorated. Here are some pics;

Here is this year's New Year's Eve fodder-I mean this year's Christmas tree (we blow them up on New Year's eve).
Same, only you can see the lights.


The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hope's that J would soon be there. My grandmother made the girl's stockings like 18+ years ago. She made several, giving them to all of her great-grandchildren. J's is in the middle. My cousin made it for him last Christmas. I never dreamed he wouldn't be here yet this Christmas.

Here is the entertainment center that T made a few years ago out of old barn wood. He was concerned that I wouldn't like it, but I love it. There are lights in the garland that turn on with the tree lights.

Ah, the stairs. Something new to decorate. And the loft. And J's room. We've done a little decorating in the loft but nothing in J's room. If by some miracle he gets here he can pick out some decorations for his own room. The lights are those chasing, flickering things.
Here, you can kind of see the lights.

~ My finger is still swollen and tender. Go figure. I have another appointment tomorrow and if they can't do anything I'll have to take matters into my own hands (punny). I've been soaking it like 4 times a day. One of our dealers told me about something called Iodex ointment that helps "draw out". I'll find some of that and see if it helps.

Amy