Dear Whatever I Accidently Vacuumed Up Today,
I don't know what you were, but I'm sorry. Apparently I have inherited my mother's talent for vacuuming up unusual things.
Rest assured, you did not go without a fight. You made a lot of noise.
I could go through the dirt in the bag but I really don't want to know what you were that bad. Please don't poke a hole in my vacuum bag as some sort of retaliation. And watch out for that stick pin I know I vacuumed up. Please don't let it poke a hole in the bag either. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Me
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