Trust

J let me cut his hair last night. Hair has been a weird little issue with him. When he had been home for less than a month, I took him to a nice black lady who "cleaned up" his little frizzy hairs around his face because I had heard how other AA people might look down on us for not keeping it "neat". It freaked him out. I still don't know exactly what the trigger was but I do remember that being a bad night. Real bad.

So, I gave up worrying what others might say and decided to do what made him comfortable. We talked some about big hair. We talked a little about braids, twists or locs. It's mostly been long and he has little frizzies aroudn his face but as long as he was happy with his hair, that was fine. He freaked just a little any time we mentioned cutting. He would cover his hair and shake his head and say, "No! I don't want to be bald!"

I always assured him that we wouldn't cut it down to "bald". I didn't pursue it, just assured him. Just before R's wedding he decided that a "bitty, bitty" trim would be okay. This time I took him to a white lady who he had watched cut my hair. She washed it, conditioned it, combed it and then used the comb and scissors to cut whatever stuck up above her fingers. It was exactly what he needed. She got the clipper out to clean up the fuzzies and he got freaked a little about that but she persevered and he was fine.

Wed. night he told me that he had "some hair is sticking out. I need it cut." I told him that I'd wash it, condition it, brush and comb it and then use the clipper with the comb things on it and even it out but not make it bald on Thur. evening. He said ok. Wow! I didn't push it or say anything about it and he reminded me that I was going to cut his hair. I washed it, conditioned it and let him take his bath while I got the clipper ready in my bathroom. He sat on a chair and watched in the mirror. I talked to him about everything, turned the clipper on so he could see how it sounds, showed him the guide combs and how they don't let it "get bald". I asked him who cut his hair in Haiti and he mentioned a few names. He said they always pulled his hair and made it bald and that one person only cut half of it one time and sent him to church so everyone would laugh at him. No wonder the kid has issues. He had to watch ev.er.y.thing I did with it and it's not very short but he trusted me to cut it. That's a huge step. And it only took nearly six months.