Some pix

Happy 1st Anniversary R and JT! They made it a whole year and didn't kill each other. Woot! Last year at this time we were doing this; www.thisthatandlifesjoys.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-new-year-and-wedding-pics.html
We had a little open house party for them this evening and had a very nice time. Misty even performed her stroller and sippy cup trick with all the people in the house. I really need to post a video of it some day.

The other day T hooked a projector up to a game system and they played it on the wall. Misty sat on the end of the couch and watched intently. So funny.
Since R and JT are heading back home on Wed. we went ahead and blew up the tree tonight. I love this pic.

Nephew got a little crazy with the gas can but all were safe in the end.

We saved the top cake of R's and JT's wedding cake in the freezer all year and pulled it out tonight. The cake part was still good but the frosting crystalized. It was neat to see it again and that the cake part survived a year in the freezer (and in the cars lately).

Good food, good friends, good times. Now they are playing kinect. That takes some goofy pix while they are playing. I have to work tomorrow so off to bed.

Merry Christmas!

I know it's the day after but I hope you're having a great Christmas. We've been busy and enjoying friends and family. R and JT are here and they've been busy running around and trying to see everyone. We will have an open house for them tomorrow evening on their first anniversary. I froze a small part of their wedding cake and will get it out. I'm sure we won't want to eat it but I'll get it out anyway.

We had a white Christmas and it was beautiful. So exciting. Could have done without the snow today but you take what you get. I worked but we closed a little early due to lack of customers.

We've been watching movies and playing games and making food and just enjoying each other.

Oh, J was so funny tonight when we were eating. Someone said that girls don't fart and he said (very seriously, mind you), "I tink dey fart but it's doesn't stink." That boy is "hellious"!

When I got home from work and opened the car door I could smell a fire in the fireplace. Thanks T! When I walked in the door I could smell bread because A made pretzels. Thanks A! It smelled so good! And now I'm full of pretzel and roasted marshmallow. I had one of the BIG ones. Those are so much fun.

Have a great Christmas season and happy birthday, Jesus!

Tuesday morning

The fridge side is 40 degrees and the freezer side is frozen. How-way-you-ya!

We have a refrigerator

T went to a scratch and dent place in the next town over from us. They had nothing and he hated to call me and tell me this. I hated to hear it. It stopped being funny at that point and I had a little meltdown in my car after my lunch break. Why was it so hard to find a refrigerator?!?!

He decided to drive up to the S**rs scratch and dent place where we got our washer and dryer 10-12 years ago. He found a Whirlpool side by side for under $600. It has small dents in the side but they are strategically hidden by cabinets and magnets. It's only been plugged in for a little over an hour so it's too early to get excited about it. I know better after what we've been through. If everything works as it should and it cools down overnight I'll consider getting excited tomorrow.

I also caught a cold. Or something. I need some zinc.

I sincerely hope this is the last chapter in The Refrigerator-A Never Ending Tale. The only thing I want now is to live happily ever after.

Too bizarre not to share

Okay. So, T called hhgr*gg today and someone was supposed to call him back but they never did. In the mean time we had heard about a scratch and dent place that we'd like to at least look at. I wanted to look at it on Sat. but we didn't have time. We could buy one and put it on the truck and bring it home. So I called hhgr*gg and asked to speak to the manager and told him we wanted our money back. He hee-hawed around and finally said how about they deliver one to our home tomorrow. I said that would be fine. We called my parents and told them we didn't need the truck now but the way things were going we might end up needing it again.

About 10 minutes later hhgr*gg called and said they couldn't deliver until Tuesday and I said that the manager said Monday and if it's not until Tuesday then I want my money back. He put me on hold for a couple minutes then came back on and asked how I paid. The story with that was I forgot the card Sat. morning and had to write a check. I anticipated that this would be a problem and it was. They said they had to wait until blah, blah, blah...But I said nope, I want my money back. All they had to do was get a fridge from a warehouse location about 25 miles away and to the store. That didn't happen and I wanted my money back. He put me on hold again.

I was on hold so long that it rang back to the operator. I explained to her what was going on and told her I didn't care if I talked to the manager or the guy who just called me. The guy got back on the line and asked if he could credit a card for us, and I agreed so we have our money back. Supposedly. Over the phone from the people who couldn't take a phone order. Supposedly. But we still don't have a fridge. Other than the one the Lord provided for us in the great outdoors. Or in our case, in the expedition. I called my mom yet again and asked to use the truck. Hahahaha.

Stay tuned for the next installment in this bizarre story, The Refrigerator-A Never Ending Tale. The sad but true saga of a family with a refrigerator that died a premature death and their unending obstacles to overcome strife. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Snafu

The fridge didn't come in. Are you surprised? Nah, neither are we. Good thing it's cold outside.

May the pendulum swing (and stay swung)

If we believed in bad luck, I'd say we've had a lot of bad luck lately. Appliances, vehicles, schoolwork, attitudes, health issues, etc. I was beginning to dread my mammogram redo because of the "bad luck" we've had. But, A managed to pull off a B in her dual enrollment English class so she gets to keep her scholarship next semester. She and I had a nice, though rushed, time shopping today. T got a couple things done. R and JT got here safely in a 10 year old Hyundai with 203K miles on it and they didn't kill each other or their cats. Momo is precious. Tonka is a little weirded out by everything and much bigger than when we saw him in March. Still not much luck with the jeep and we won't know if we got the correct fridge and if it will really be there tomorrow but maybe, just maybe, the pendulum is swinging the right direction.

Bizarre

Ok, the refrigerator story is beginning to border on the bizarre. B*st Buy ordered the wrong one. It would take them 3-4 days to get the right one there. So, I'm back to hhgr*gg. Since I'm going in to town today anyway I'll try to order it through them and they should have one at their store tomorrow. Sigh...

R and JT are on their way here with their two cats. Last night she wasn't sure if the cats had gas or had poopied on themselves but either way it's stinky in their car. And their cruise control doesn't work. But, if those are the worse things that happen on their trip then they're in good shape.

A and I are going shopping today. She wants boots and a second ear piercing for Christmas so I need her with me to get those. I hope I can get the fridge and get the rest of my shopping done, too. I'm doubtful though as someone is sick at work and I need to get in there this afternoon. I'm grateful for the work hours though. That's all for now.

Another First

J had another "first" last night. He went Christmas caroling for the first time. It was cold and rainy/drizzly but we had fun anyway. There were 25-30 of us from church and we went to a nursing home and a retirement home. He enjoyed it and was singing along on the ones he knew. Before we went caroling he was singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and he changed the last line to "from the bottom of my heart." He's so funny. He still sings, "Jingle bells, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat." Just like last year.

The kids had school today. Hallelujah!

The Fridge...RIP

The fridge side is still between 50-55 even though the freezer side is frozen. That's what it did last week. The $50 more in parts didn't help at all. I talked to the repairman and said that we were thinking it might be time to just get a new one. He was thinking the same thing. We have a new one ordered that should be at the store Sat. morning. The repairman will give us our $$ back and take the old fridge. Now, if we can keep everything cold enough until Sat so nothing gets ruined, we'll be in good shape. Accept for the bank account. Sigh...

J went shopping with me today because they had snow day number 3. He was very good even though we were both tired of looking for refrigerators. That is so not how I wanted to spend my day. At the grocery store I kept getting the last or second to last item left and J said I was very lucky. We ordered our food just before a huge line formed too so that was extra lucky. Maybe I should have bought a lottery ticket so I could pay for the fridge.

Tuesday afternoon

Well, the kids were out of school again today and J is driving me nuts asking about tomorrow. It's not looking good for them going to school. Sigh...A is missing her mid-terms. I wonder when they'll make those up.

The fridge repairman made it to our house this morning. He put another $50 worth of parts on it and said to pay him when we can, after we make sure it's working properly. We'll see.

T hopes to pick up the parts for the jeep today. Please pray that they are the correct parts, not defective and everything works as it should when they are installed. We really need to sell the jeep. Anyone want a fun vehicle? Once it's fixed of course.

Pay day tomorrow can't get here soon enough. We are out of everything and I need to finish up Christmas shopping. I'll more than likely have J with me though, so that might be difficult. Se la vi.

Come on, snow. Melt! Come on temps outside, warm up. Come on fridge/freezer temps, cool down. Ah, life!

Interesting conversations today

We were in a rush to get to church this morning. After we got there J came up to T and said, "Daddy, look at my shoes." T said, "J, you have two different shoes on and they're both for the same foot!" At least one was a bigger size so it didn't feel as weird on the wrong foot.

I was getting ready to do some baking and asked where the butter was. T said it was in the expedition.

A while later I realized I forgot to bring the milk in. A said she'd get it and where was it. I told her it was in the van, driver's side, sliding door.

Ya gotta laugh.

Good news, bad news

The bad news is, the $265 we spent on the fridge was useless.

The good news is it's not supposed to get above freezing for the next couple days so we can haul our stuff outside to keep it cold.

The bad news is, it's supposed to snow 1-3 inches.

The good news is, since they probably won't have school tomorrow someone should be here if the repairman can get out to come fix it again.

The bad news is the dogs have been very interested in anything we have taken outside from the fridge.

The good news is, it's cold enough to keep everything in our cars so we now have refrigerators on wheels. It's our own version of meals on wheels.

The bad news is, my last bag of cherries from Door County, WI melted.

The good news is we will have a cherry pie or a cobbler today.

The bad news is the jeep parts were broken and had to be ordered, again.

The good news is they had warranties.

The bad news is strange things just keep happening.

The good news is some of it is beginning to strike me as really funny. Now I need to go do some baking.

Frustrated...but choosing to be thankful

We've had a frustrating couple of weeks. The kids and schoolwork. The cat tipping the tree over and no one noticed that the floor under the tree was soaking wet. I found it today nearly a week later. It blistered the finish on the wood floor in 3 places. No one redecorated the tree or even fixed the tree skirt. And I can't make the little train go around the tree without de-railing. And I haven't found the lost decorations, some which my children made and some that my mom made 40 years ago.

In looking for one med issue with me another little thing was discovered and is being treated. Then they called saying there was an abnormal finding on my mammogram. Sigh...get to repeat that and hopefully not have a biopsy.

Lots of car and appliance issues. I know a lot of people dealing with the same kinds of things. It's weird, really. So many people with vehicle and appliance issues.

And of course the financial strain that goes with those issues, and this time of year, and having a senior in high school. Very stressing.

The craziness going on in Haiti. A whole year of it for them.

But I'm going to choose to be thankful. So here's a thankful list. I'm thankful for a Savior who came to earth as a baby and that we celebrate that at this time of year. I am thankful for a friend thinking of me with a ticket to a concert tonight. I'm thankful for ATP Energy capsules with magnesium and malic acid. They are helping so much. Anyone with fibro should try them. I'm thankful for old Christmas records which bring back good memories. I'm thankful for the love of family (even when I want to wring their necks-kidding-sort of) and friends. And dark chocolate (have I mentioned that before?)

Weird stuff

Lots of weird stuff going on around here. Actually, it's just life but when a bunch of things mound up it can get hard to handle. The Bible does say that in this world there will be trouble and to not be surprised at the various trials we are facing. Alrighty then.

I got one medical issue sort of figured out yesterday and another one cropped up today. Hopefully it's a non issue. We shall see.

R's car is basically dead. Sigh...but they still have one they can drive. Praying it can make it here and home again for Christmas.

It cost $265 to fix the fridge. But it's working. Food is frozen in the freezer, mostly cold in the fridge, water is dispensing and ice is being made. Whoooo doggies!

They finally got the part right for the jeep but he still needs to do something else to it. I'm not sure what.

The kids have been decent to one another (this is new) and A's homework is done. J got a good report from school yesterday and then had a meltdown during homework. Today has been better for him.

My house is sort of cleaner than it was this morning but I still have more to do. And so it goes.

Post with pics

Well, we had a rather strange week last week. We got emails from two of A's teachers saying she wasn't doing well in their classes. We think she has remedied that and salvaged what she can. Senioritis? We also got 2 calls and a home visit from J's ESL teacher. Sigh...

We had decided to look at trucks for T and then get a van for me after the two current vehicles sold. We just couldn't find anything we liked for the money we had to spend. Then we decided to look at vans and just keep the expedition. Again, we couldn't find anything or they would tell us it had "quad seating" and it was benches or they'd make the vehicles out to be much more than they were. It was frustrating.

On Tuesday the Jeep wouldn't shift right and it appeared to be the transmission. T was going to Nashville for a conference on Wed. and Thur. On Tues. night I called about another van and left a message. The owner called me back on Wed morning and I called my dad to see if he could go with me since T was in Nashville. He said he could so I called the owner back and said it was 60 miles and told him about the time I thought we'd be there.

As we pulled into his place of business the van was pulling out. His secretary (I think) met us and asked if we were there to look at the van. I said yes and she said the owner wasn't there but we could take a seat and these other people were looking at it right now. I was ticked. All that way to have someone else get there just before us. When they returned I asked them if they were going to buy the van and they said yes. I was really ticked. I was just going to leave but finally decided to call the owner who still wasn't there. He said I had called first and that we set up the first appointment and the other people called about 10 minutes after I did. He told the other people that we were looking at it but they got there first. The owner said he would honor his word with me and that I had first dibs at it if I wanted to look at it. I said I did so dad and I took it for a drive.

The owner was there when we got back and the other people met us outside and asked if I was going to buy it. I said, "I believe so." And he said it was a yes or no question, which was it? Yes or no? I said yes. He said he'd get into a price war with me 'cause he was willing to pay more for that van but he didn't think "Mr. Righteous" inside would let him. I said I'd go talk to the owner.

As soon as I walked into his office I knew I had met a kindred spirit. There was a pic on the wall of him with an asian girl with a cleft lip. I asked if that was his daughter and he said yes. I told him about J and it turns out they have two bio children and three adopted from China, all with special needs. Wow! We swapped blogs and swapped money for the title and key and we now have a van. T will drive Big Mama for now.

T started working on the Jeep Sat. morning after I spent some time Thur. trying to locate a transmission. As he worked on it, he discovered that the clutch master cylinder was leaking. He bought a new one and put it on. It helped but still wasn't quite right. A friend who works at the local auto parts store called and mentioned that T had left his frequent buyer card down there and told him to bleed the slave cylinder too. That worked but the screw was stripped in the process so he had to order that part. He picked it up today but it's the wrong part. We will try again tomorrow. Sigh...

Currently, the dishwasher washes correctly about 75% of the time and that's good compared to what it's been. The water dispenser on the fridge only works when it's good and feels like which isn't very often and now it's melting things in the top of the freezer. The dryer is taking longer and longer to dry things. Sigh...

Last night I was trying to balance the checkbook and do some creative bill paying when I came across a receipt from the other day and the last item on it was "LARGE DUST PAN ASS". Yes, it really says that! It struck me as so funny and I've had the best time with this crazy receipt. I'm going to laminate it and put it on the fridge with my other favorite comics. How funny is that?! I tried to take a pic of it but it's too blurry to see.

So, other than kids' schoolwork and broken vehicles and weird appliances, we're good. :) Oh, and the cat knocking over the Christmas tree.

I decided to do something about my male cactus again. This time I'm trying another actual cactus and not just a "succulent". What do you think? Does it help?
Here is Dexter with his front legs crossed.
This is J with a turkey leg the Wed. eve before Thanksgiving. Our neighbor offered to smoke a turkey for us so we took him up on it. That boy loves "big meat". And the leftover smoked turkey made an awesome soup!

While T and I were on one of our vehicle wild goose chases, A and J went for a walk in the woods and picked out a tree. They cut it down and hauled it home and then A decorated it. Some of our ornaments are missing. We've looked and looked but can't find them. Oh well, we made some new salt dough ornaments the other day but they are not up yet. Here's the tree before Misty knocked it down.

Front door.

Steps. J did all of this and he loves to have all the Christmas lights on in the house.

Wed. evening while T was in Nashville and A was at youth group J and I had the first fire of the season in the fireplace. We roasted marshmallows and made s'mores and all was right in the world.

I snapped this pic of Misty in the chair with A the other night. Isn't that a look of pure bliss on her face? Love it.

That's all for now.

Clarification

Clarification for the last post. We have not killed each other or either one of our children still living in our home. We are not ready to divorce or disown anyone. We love each other dearly and we love our children dearly. It was just a vent. Plus, I think people go into adoption sometimes thinking it's all going to be hunky dory and it's just not. Even if you read all the books and have a game plan before the kid comes home, it's just not enough to prepare you. Nothing can prepare you for reality. That's why I didn't do any lamaze classes when I was pregnant. I didn't think I'd remember anything anyway. I did read adoption parenting books and it's kind of funny how J doesn't fall into a lot of the behaviors of an older adopted child. We were blessed. Yes, he has his issues, but don't we all? They were just my thoughts for the day. And I truly believe that God doesn't waste any experiences if we yield them to Him.

Last night T was in Nashville for a conference and A was at youth group so it was just J and I. I asked him if he wanted salad or carrot sticks with his pizza and he said, "When I grow up and live in my own house (notice how he put 'in my own house' in there? smart kid) I am not going to eat vegetables. I am going to eat only junk food and get fat, fat, fat. (long pause) No, I am going to eat vegetables because I want to fit 'trew' my door." He's so funny! I love how he thought that through.

A seems to be over her mono. J seems to be mostly over his cold. T and I are not over whatever we have but we've been taking zinc and it really seems to be helping.

I had a massage and chiro adjustment on Tuesday and they suggested that I try a supplement of malic acid and magnesium. I recently tried Cymbalta for my fibro and I hated that. It did really weird things to me so I was willing to try this supplement. OMG, they said I'd know in a week if it was helping but I think it's helping already. I'm impressed with it. I did some research on it and in clinical trials it really seems to help people with fibro. It may be part of my life forever. We shall see.

This week has been bizarre for us in regards to both children's schoolwork and in regards to vehicles. There's an interesting story here but I'm tired so I'll share more at a later date.

T is using a lot of bandwidth tonight so I'll try to post some more pics soon.

Adoption

I support adoption. I am an adoptive parent and a bio parent. I believe it's so much better for a child to be raised in a loving home than in an orphanage, even if the colors on the skin of the people who make up the family are all different. But that doesn't make it easy.

I hate that our process took so long and left a bad taste in our mouths towards adoption. I belong to some yahoo groups and sometimes I read on them about people wanting to start an adoption and I want to holler, "Run! Run away! Resist the urge because it will hurt you!" I hate that I feel that way and have those thoughts.

I hate that my pregnancy with A was so difficult that we said, no more. I sometimes wonder why I couldn't carry and give birth to a son. I wonder what he would have been like, looked like, if we'd given birth to a son.

I hate that J had to spend 5 years in an orphanage, 4 of them knowing us and wanting to be with us. How can that be good?

I hate reading about and knowing people who have such a difficult time parenting their traumatized children. Children with RAD (Radical Attachment Disorder). I cannot fathom it. Look it up on google or read some blogs of people trying to parent these kids (try http://www.welcometomybrain.net/ or www.5frozenchamorros.blogspot.com ). We have a hard enough time parenting J with his issues and he's not even RAD.

I get tired of the friction between A and J. I love them both dearly and it hurts to see them grate on each other's nerves. I end up feeling like I've failed them both somehow.

I get tired of the huge highs and lows that a healing child has. Even though J is not RAD, he has abandonment issues. They can lead to some uncomfortable stuff where you have to make quick decisions and every decision can be huge. It wears me out.

I get tired of the bedwetting. I get tired of his incessent need to be the center of attention.

I get tired of schoolwork with J. The poor kid was so far behind and had never had any real expectations on him in Haiti that he often feels overwhelmed with schoolwork. To his credit he is exceptionally bright and has come so far, so quickly. I get tired of having to sit right next to him, working him through each problem or each sentence or each step. Will he ever be able to do this on his own? I believe he will but right now, it's frustrating. Thankfully, I don't think he's ADD or ADHD and I don't think he has any learning disabilities.

I get tired of the tension between T and I that parenting an adopted child brings to us. We don't always agree on how to handle things and we are constantly strategizing over what to try next. What might work this time? How can we do this better? How can we reduce the friction between the kids? Do we always agree on how to parent our bio children? No, but it seems like we agree more often on that than on parenting our adopted child. Why? I don't know.

I'm not sure why I'm rambling on about all this stuff but for some reason it feels right. Maybe it's just good for me to vent.

Would I do it again? I'm honestly not sure, knowing what I know now. But, we have a son. He doesn't look like either one of us but it's funny how some of his behaviors have been learned and he'll do something just like T or I. He has a home. He has a mom and dad who love him. He has grandparents next door whom he misses when they are gone. He has extended family who love him and he loves to be with. He has sisters who are learning things from him even if they don't want to learn them. T and I are not the same people that we were when we started this crazy process over 5 years ago. It's been very interesting and lots of times funny to learn about the world all over again through J's eyes. His perspective on things is very unique. He's an interesting person.

Is it easy? No! Is it worth it? I have to believe it is, probably for reasons I don't even know of at times. Would I recommend adoption? My advice would be to search your heart, search your husband's or wife's heart, pray about it. If you know that you know that you know it's the right thing to do, go for it. I do know that God doesn't waste an experience. I support adoption.