Worship

I struggle with feeling a lot more "called" than "qualified" as a worship leader. Keep in mind it's a real small church but it's still a lot of responsibility. I would never want it to become a performance or anything else it shouldn't be. Sometimes it's hard to be in that place. It's hard to find the balance in wanting things to go well and go smoothly and not feel like a performance. You do have to practice but it's so much more about the heart.

Sometimes things go awry. More than once I have picked up my guitar and in the process got the cord stuck on the guitar stand and unplugged it. I did that last week. It was so not how I had pictured that time of transition. Oh well. I've dropped music off of the stand, lost a water bottle off the side of a stand, hit some weird thing on the keyboard and somehow started one of the demo songs in the middle of a worship song, started things in the wrong key, and the list goes on.

Sometimes things get crazy in a practice time, like this morning. We did "This Is My Father's World" and if you don't want me to ruin this song for you, stop reading. Okay, those who kept on reading here it comes. You know the line in that song "In the rustling grass I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere"? For some reason I stumbled on the word grass. Y'all, I could not recover when I looked at the very next words. Yes, it came out, "In the rustling gas I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere." We all lost it. I mean lost it. T said we were going to have to pick another song. I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Thankfully it was during the practice time and we did not tell a soul and we managed to make it through the song in the service but I fear it will be a long time before we do that one again.

I think that the stumbles, unplugged cords, and dropping papers happen as a reminder that we are just humans, deserving of nothing at all. We are saved by grace, through faith...lest anyone boast. If we boast about anything, we should boast in the Lord. He alone is worthy of worship.

On that note I think I should do a thankful list. Let's see. I'm thankful for a hubby who seeks after God. I'm thankful for my children. I'm thankful for the warmth and sunshine today. I'm thankful for our niece, T, who got married yesterday and for another niece, B, who graduated from high school yesterday. I'm thankful for laughter.