Sunday recap

Church was good this morning. It was good to be leading music again. I'm still terribly missing J but I'm also glad to be home with the rest of my family.

I told my church family how "alive" the churches I visited in Haiti are. I also told them about J pleading with me to take him home with me. I also mentioned sitting at the O and feeding a 2 1/2 month old girl who only weighs about 7-8 pounds and I was holding her and giving her a bottle and looking at the scars on her arm from rat bites and the scars on her leg from abrasions from being thrown on a garbage heap and thinking, someone threw this baby away. OMG! Then I had a few people tell me that I was "different" today when I was leading music. You can't spend that much time in Haiti and experience the things I experienced and not be different.

I sometimes feel like a woman in labor. I'm just so tired that I want to give up. I need a C-section. I just need to get this child home. We're at 42 stinking months since we started the paper chase. 3.5 years. How is this good? Like being in labor, one part of me wants to continue to push and another part of me says I can't do this anymore and I need a C-section. Either way, one thing I know is, I WANT MY EPIDURAL!!

I think I'll do a thankful list. Let's see, I'm thankful for the time spent with J and with T's parents. I'm thankful to be home again. I'm thankful for our jobs. I'm thankful for our church family. I'm thankful for the great time I had with A today. Just her and I. She drove, I didn't panic, we didn't hit anything or have a wreck and we had a nice time together.