Monday, February 28, 2011
I'm back
We got home around 7 last night. We had an awesome time and laughed 'til it hurt and then laughed some more. J survived and so did T. It was good to see R and JT. CO is so pretty. Well, the mountains are so pretty. I will post pix when I can. I have hit the ground running this morning.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Attachment and abandonment
So, I'm leaving early tomorrow morning with a couple friends to go to CO and see R and JT. This is the first time I've left J overnight since he's been home. It's time. T has been gone overnight and J was fine but he is very put out with me for "leaving" him and is "punishing" me for doing so. When he found out I was going (a couple months ago) it dredged up all of his abandonment feelings. He told us how he cried for days when his birth mom left him at the O. He said he didn't want me to go and that he was afraid I wouldn't come back. I assured him that I have every intention of coming back. Then he was afraid of an accident. We assured him that if God wanted me in Heaven I'd be going whether I was here or in CO. He just has to get through me leaving so he can see that I'll come back. We don't believe in telling him that I "promise" to come back because none of us knows what the Lord has for us each day. We just assure him that my plan is to come back, Lord willing.
He seemed ok for a while until last night. He had a meltdown over his math and finally admitted that it was because I was leaving. He said he wasn't going to school while I was gone and yadda, yadda, yadda. It's hard to separate a child who is acting out of fear and a child who is being a brat. They look a lot alike.
I'm frustrated by the things that happened in J's life that brought him to a place where he feels such insecurity. I'm frustrated that we weren't better prepared to deal with this "adoption stuff". I'm frustrated (not begrudging her-just frustrated ;) ) that my friend's boys are excited about spending the time with their dad and mine is punishing me for leaving.
But I'm also thankful that J is attached. I'm thankful for a chance to get away with friends. I'm thankful to be able to go see R. I'm thankful for a group of people at J's school who are understanding and willing to do what needs to be done so I can take this trip. How awesome is that? Our public school system rocks!
Please pray for T. And A. And J. And that I come home all in one healthy piece so J can see that it really can happen. Thanks!
He seemed ok for a while until last night. He had a meltdown over his math and finally admitted that it was because I was leaving. He said he wasn't going to school while I was gone and yadda, yadda, yadda. It's hard to separate a child who is acting out of fear and a child who is being a brat. They look a lot alike.
I'm frustrated by the things that happened in J's life that brought him to a place where he feels such insecurity. I'm frustrated that we weren't better prepared to deal with this "adoption stuff". I'm frustrated (not begrudging her-just frustrated ;) ) that my friend's boys are excited about spending the time with their dad and mine is punishing me for leaving.
But I'm also thankful that J is attached. I'm thankful for a chance to get away with friends. I'm thankful to be able to go see R. I'm thankful for a group of people at J's school who are understanding and willing to do what needs to be done so I can take this trip. How awesome is that? Our public school system rocks!
Please pray for T. And A. And J. And that I come home all in one healthy piece so J can see that it really can happen. Thanks!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The week that was
I'm glad this was the "week that was" because we've had a rough week. I had a sore throat last Sat., Sun. and Mon. and then Monday eve my head stopped up. I dealt with that all week and then last night my throat started hurting again. Sigh...
I went to the doc yesterday but it was for my wrist. I've had a ganglion cyst on the inside of my left wrist for several years now. All of a sudden it has gotten a little larger and started causing symptoms. I'll be tested for carpal tunnel syndrome in a couple weeks and we'll go from there.
J threw a fit at school Wed. and refused to do his English proficiency testing. He knew it was coming and yet when he asked for help on the words and she couldn't help him, he refused to do it. He seemed to think that he was going to fail 6th grade if he didn't do well and he was mad that the teacher couldn't help him. He was "grounded" when he got home and that didn't go well either. He raged about multiple things and threw his stuff out of his room and threw away his basketball trophy and a few other things. I told him I thought he'd be sad later on that he had thrown those things away and later on he pulled them out of the trash can. I'm so tired of rewind, click, play. Rewind, click, play. If he's not lying, he's wetting the bed. If he's not wetting the bed he's contradicting us. If he's not contradicting he's throwing a fit or any combination of the above.
He's better today and actually stayed over night at the neighbors. We did not get a call in the middle of the night so I guess that's good. He was nervous about his bedwetting but willing to give it a try. His friend, K, is staying at our house tonight so he can go to church with us tomorrow.
T has had a rough week with his back. He was helping my dad with a water line (which is still leaking) and turned wrong. He must have pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve because he is walking like John Wayne with a load in his pants.
I think A is okay other than the fact that she still doesn't have a job. T put a new belt on Elvis (the car A drives) so maybe she won't get stared at and laughed at when she starts him up now. I have no idea if it helped or not but we shall see.
Some friends and I are going to CO this week to see R and JT. Happy Birthday today, JT! We are all looking forward to the trip. I hope and pray it's a good one.
Ok, it's been a while since I've posted pix so I figured I better post some. A couple weeks ago I painted a chair and brought it in to finish drying but not before Dexter rubbed up against it.
I went to the doc yesterday but it was for my wrist. I've had a ganglion cyst on the inside of my left wrist for several years now. All of a sudden it has gotten a little larger and started causing symptoms. I'll be tested for carpal tunnel syndrome in a couple weeks and we'll go from there.
J threw a fit at school Wed. and refused to do his English proficiency testing. He knew it was coming and yet when he asked for help on the words and she couldn't help him, he refused to do it. He seemed to think that he was going to fail 6th grade if he didn't do well and he was mad that the teacher couldn't help him. He was "grounded" when he got home and that didn't go well either. He raged about multiple things and threw his stuff out of his room and threw away his basketball trophy and a few other things. I told him I thought he'd be sad later on that he had thrown those things away and later on he pulled them out of the trash can. I'm so tired of rewind, click, play. Rewind, click, play. If he's not lying, he's wetting the bed. If he's not wetting the bed he's contradicting us. If he's not contradicting he's throwing a fit or any combination of the above.
He's better today and actually stayed over night at the neighbors. We did not get a call in the middle of the night so I guess that's good. He was nervous about his bedwetting but willing to give it a try. His friend, K, is staying at our house tonight so he can go to church with us tomorrow.
T has had a rough week with his back. He was helping my dad with a water line (which is still leaking) and turned wrong. He must have pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve because he is walking like John Wayne with a load in his pants.
I think A is okay other than the fact that she still doesn't have a job. T put a new belt on Elvis (the car A drives) so maybe she won't get stared at and laughed at when she starts him up now. I have no idea if it helped or not but we shall see.
Some friends and I are going to CO this week to see R and JT. Happy Birthday today, JT! We are all looking forward to the trip. I hope and pray it's a good one.
Ok, it's been a while since I've posted pix so I figured I better post some. A couple weeks ago I painted a chair and brought it in to finish drying but not before Dexter rubbed up against it.
Goofy cat!
T and I recently found Misty in the bed with A.
One of our last snows. I love this pic.
"A river runs through it". But only when it rains a lot.
It was the kind of snow that sticks to everything.
Behind the house.
And beside the house.
Misty loves to lay with her body on the entertainment center and her head in the window sill.
And her belly jells down in between.
She has so much "belly jelly" that you can loose your finger in it. See? We love our Misty.
I had a jewelry party to benefit the artisans at The Apparent Project. Check them out under "blogs I read". A lot of people couldn't come but those who did had a good time. I decorated the house the way Haitians decorate, with cheetos in fruit, paper cut-outs, paper plates, etc. We at little pates, sweet potato pudding, mango coffee cake and fruit. We played a couple of silly games, watched the dvd from Apparent Project and looked at the jewelry.
A's 18th birthday was last week. I made a heart cake because it's so close to Valentine's day. She put a three and fifteen little candles on it. We had lunch at a hibachi grill the next day. I think I already blogged about that.
J has a science project to do. I think he thought he was supposed to make an invention because he had some crazy ideas about what to do. I finally asked him if he thought cheese in the fridge or out of the fridge would mold faster. He thought the cheese out of the fridge would mold faster. I pointed out that that was a hypothesis and that he could do that for a science project. He was thrilled. He was really thrilled when he got mold on his out of the fridge cheese a few days later.
One of our last snows. I love this pic.
"A river runs through it". But only when it rains a lot.
It was the kind of snow that sticks to everything.
Behind the house.
And beside the house.
Misty loves to lay with her body on the entertainment center and her head in the window sill.
And her belly jells down in between.
She has so much "belly jelly" that you can loose your finger in it. See? We love our Misty.
I had a jewelry party to benefit the artisans at The Apparent Project. Check them out under "blogs I read". A lot of people couldn't come but those who did had a good time. I decorated the house the way Haitians decorate, with cheetos in fruit, paper cut-outs, paper plates, etc. We at little pates, sweet potato pudding, mango coffee cake and fruit. We played a couple of silly games, watched the dvd from Apparent Project and looked at the jewelry.
A's 18th birthday was last week. I made a heart cake because it's so close to Valentine's day. She put a three and fifteen little candles on it. We had lunch at a hibachi grill the next day. I think I already blogged about that.
J has a science project to do. I think he thought he was supposed to make an invention because he had some crazy ideas about what to do. I finally asked him if he thought cheese in the fridge or out of the fridge would mold faster. He thought the cheese out of the fridge would mold faster. I pointed out that that was a hypothesis and that he could do that for a science project. He was thrilled. He was really thrilled when he got mold on his out of the fridge cheese a few days later.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Crazy around here
It has been crazy around here. A is 18. Holy Moses, does that make me feel old. The youngest child that I gave birth to is 18. A little about A. She is artsy, smart, and interesting. She wants a belly button piercing, now that she can get one without my permission. I'm rather neutral on that subject. I think it's a waste of money but I'm not going to throw a fit and tell her no. She took her ACT test again yesterday and thinks that she lucked out on the science the first time around and that her score may go down. She got a 24 the first time around, which isn't bad but she just wanted to improve it. We shall see. She still doesn't have a job. She cleaned out her room this week, kind of a "new beginning", and was amazed at all the things she found in there. I was amazed too. She took out no less than 4 large, black trash bags of trash and has two plastic tubs to go up into the attic. She gave a bunch of things to J so when I got home from work Thursday he told me A was being so nice to him by unloading her extras on him. Ha! We struggle some and don't understand each other always but I love her dearly and am so proud of her!
J is struggling with schoolwork. He is perfectly capable of what they are asking of him, he just doesn't want to do it. He was close to tantruming (is that a word?) the other day and I asked him if he wanted to learn. He said no. I asked him if he wanted to get a good job some day and he said no. I told him that he wasn't going to be able to live with us indefinitely and asked him how he was going to support himself and he said, "I will pick tings out of de trash." OMG! It simultaneously broke my heart and frustrated the poo out of me. He is 1 1/2 years removed from Haiti, 6 1/2 years removed from living on the streets in Haiti and yet right there at the top of his thoughts was, I can survive. I will just pick things out of the trash. Sigh...how to parent that?
Well, that covers the kids. T hurt his back helping my dad with his water pipes. He's hobbling around and going to the chiropractor is top on his list of things to do tomorrow. He is completely enjoying his iphone and annoying the rest of us who don't have one. He is also enjoying his truck, Big Daddy.
And I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist that has been there for years but never bothered me. It's bothering me now. Sigh...I'm wearing a wrist brace and am quite dependant on it right now and I have a doc appointment on Friday. Maybe it will go away before then. A gal can hope, right?
J is struggling with schoolwork. He is perfectly capable of what they are asking of him, he just doesn't want to do it. He was close to tantruming (is that a word?) the other day and I asked him if he wanted to learn. He said no. I asked him if he wanted to get a good job some day and he said no. I told him that he wasn't going to be able to live with us indefinitely and asked him how he was going to support himself and he said, "I will pick tings out of de trash." OMG! It simultaneously broke my heart and frustrated the poo out of me. He is 1 1/2 years removed from Haiti, 6 1/2 years removed from living on the streets in Haiti and yet right there at the top of his thoughts was, I can survive. I will just pick things out of the trash. Sigh...how to parent that?
Well, that covers the kids. T hurt his back helping my dad with his water pipes. He's hobbling around and going to the chiropractor is top on his list of things to do tomorrow. He is completely enjoying his iphone and annoying the rest of us who don't have one. He is also enjoying his truck, Big Daddy.
And I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist that has been there for years but never bothered me. It's bothering me now. Sigh...I'm wearing a wrist brace and am quite dependant on it right now and I have a doc appointment on Friday. Maybe it will go away before then. A gal can hope, right?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Lost keys
Ok, this kid cracks me up! There was a cooler sitting in an intersection this morning. I said to J, "Somebody done lost somthin'." And at that exact moment a Francesca Battistelli song came on the radio and the first line is, "I lost my keys." J's mouth dropped open and he looked at me incredulously. We laughed about it and listened to the song and as we pulled into the school yard J said, referring to the song, "Hmm. Not bad....for someone who can't find deir keys." He really is "hellious".
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Sunday evening
The Packers won! Woot!! I've been a Titans fan for a while now but I wasn't this year. Since I was born in WI I am so glad the Packers won. Good game.
A new lost in translation for you; J discovered this weekend that there is a houseful of boys living "next" to us. Next to us is relative when you live in the country. Anyway, they can get to each other's houses through the woods and either J was there or their oldest was here. J heard the phrase "who cut the cheese?" at their house and being a boy he is quite amused by the bodily function that goes with that phrase. Only he keeps saying, "Oops. I just spread de cheese!" and then laughing hysterically. Cut-spread. So close. Oh, I always laugh at his lost in translations and say "So close" and now he said that the other day. He messed up something and then laughed and said, "So close." He's hysterical.
A new lost in translation for you; J discovered this weekend that there is a houseful of boys living "next" to us. Next to us is relative when you live in the country. Anyway, they can get to each other's houses through the woods and either J was there or their oldest was here. J heard the phrase "who cut the cheese?" at their house and being a boy he is quite amused by the bodily function that goes with that phrase. Only he keeps saying, "Oops. I just spread de cheese!" and then laughing hysterically. Cut-spread. So close. Oh, I always laugh at his lost in translations and say "So close" and now he said that the other day. He messed up something and then laughed and said, "So close." He's hysterical.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
February bullet points
-Had a jewelry party last night to benefit The Apparent Project (click on Apparent project under "other blogs I read"). Not many people came but those who did had a good time. We played a game with a yo-yo tied to a back belt loop and then see how many empty soda cans you can knock down with the yo-yo in one minute. Hysterical!
-If you still want to see the jewelry and purchase something it's still set up in my kitchen. Let me know.
-J went to the neighbors yesterday evening to play with their 4 boys and a friend that one of the younger boys had over. 6 boys! She's braver than I am. J loved it.
-Baseball sign ups are going on. J says he wants to play so I guess we'll give it another try. T said the neighbor watched J run and noted how athletic he is. He is very fast, if we could just get him all coordinated.
-It's been cold and windy here with some rain and some snow flurries flying around. Nothing sticking to the ground though. Go to my cousin's blog ("Blogging cousin" under other blogs I read) to see her pix of the blizzard. Zoiks!
-My brother's birthday is this week and A's birthday is next Saturday. She's also taking the ACT again on her birthday, hoping to improve her score. Thinking about how old my kids are makes me feel old.
-We sold Big Mama and bought Big Daddy. It's a dodge truck with dual exhaust that sounds oh so good. T is loving it. So is J.
-That's about it for now.
-If you still want to see the jewelry and purchase something it's still set up in my kitchen. Let me know.
-J went to the neighbors yesterday evening to play with their 4 boys and a friend that one of the younger boys had over. 6 boys! She's braver than I am. J loved it.
-Baseball sign ups are going on. J says he wants to play so I guess we'll give it another try. T said the neighbor watched J run and noted how athletic he is. He is very fast, if we could just get him all coordinated.
-It's been cold and windy here with some rain and some snow flurries flying around. Nothing sticking to the ground though. Go to my cousin's blog ("Blogging cousin" under other blogs I read) to see her pix of the blizzard. Zoiks!
-My brother's birthday is this week and A's birthday is next Saturday. She's also taking the ACT again on her birthday, hoping to improve her score. Thinking about how old my kids are makes me feel old.
-We sold Big Mama and bought Big Daddy. It's a dodge truck with dual exhaust that sounds oh so good. T is loving it. So is J.
-That's about it for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)