Smarties and stuff

I said I'd let you know what we found out about the smarties taste test. We did a "blind" taste test. A still maintains that all Smarties taste the same. I could detect a difference in the orange and yellow ones. R consistently guessed correctly which color she was given. Sometimes she got it on the second guess but mostly on the first. So that's our Smarties story and we're sticking to it.

I have so much stuff in my head I don't think I can get it all out, at least not coherently. I just don't understand what is going on with the adoption process and why it all has to be so hard. I wonder what is happening with J being in an orphanage (and it's a good one) for so long, especially when he has a family waiting on him who loves him so much. He was 7, about to turn 8 when we started this process. He will be 11 in September. Can anyone tell me how that is good for him?

Why does this have to be so hard? We still don't know what our O director was saying to us on Sunday but it didn't sound like good news. It sounded something like our file was lost and having to start over. I don't know what that means for us.

I have so many questions and I'm struggling with the "D's" right now. Like disappointed, disillusion, depressed, desperate. Please, just pray for us. We're at 31 months in this adoption journey. I am weary of the ride.

Maybe I should do a "thankful list". Let's see, I'm thankful for a job. My hubby and kids. I'm thankful for words of encouragement from family and friends who mean so much to us.